Excuse me while I pick my jaw off the floor.
Robin Scorpio is alive, Scoopers! I don't know whether to do a happy dance or to fire off an angry letter to GH, for making me cry more in two weeks than any human should, all for naught. Hmm, choices...
I choose the former. Cue the "Hallelujah Chorus"! I'm elated that a longtime character hasn't left us under such tragic circumstances. Here's why. In the age of Internet and social media, it is truly rare for a show -- daytime or primetime -- to pull off such a dynamic twist, without someone spoiling the fun. Bravo, General Hospital! You fooled us. (Most of us, anyway.)
Sure, we were skeptical when Robin's body was burned beyond recognition. In daytime, that's usually sign number one that a character could return in the future. I expressed my own doubt about Robin's death in a past column, hypothesizing that Anna had helped Robin fake her death because her HIV was getting worse. But during the past two weeks as I watched the whole town mourn, even skeptical I was convinced that Robin was dead.
Well done, General Hospital. It's not often that I'm surprised.
Robin awoke, locked in a hospital room. Her guard is a nurse with a more abrasive bedside manner than Epiphany. As Robin tried to escape, she caught a glimpse of someone that seemed familiar.
Who's behind the plot?
As for who could have pulled off such a believable scam, there are plenty of possibilities. My suspect list includes several of Port Charles's most notorious villains, as well as some other familiar faces. Put on your sleuther caps, Scoopers. Let's solve this mystery and see who could have taken beloved Robin.
1. Helena Cassadine -- Whenever anyone in Port Charles is presumed dead, I always question if it's true. The reason for such doubt stems from years of resurrections, courtesy of Helena Cassadine. She's known for bringing back her allegedly dead children and other townsfolk who were presumed dead. Helena's list of victims is long -- Luke, Laura, Stavros, Lucky, Katherine, etc. I wouldn't be surprised to find out that Stefan, Emily, Cassandra, or even Jake, are alive and well someday, at the hands of Ms. Cassadine. But why would she take Robin? Helena has always been obsessed with the Spencers. It doesn't seem likely that she would go to all that trouble for Robin.
2. Lisa Niles -- She tortured Robin and Patrick for months. Then, during her last act of terror, she was allegedly murdered on a cruise around the harbor. Supposedly, her body was found and identified, but we all know this is Port Charles, so anything can be faked. I assumed that Anthony Zacchara had offed Dr. Niles. But perhaps she's still alive and kicking, and getting her ultimate revenge on Patrick. She wanted Robin dead and Patrick suffering. This seems like a win-win for the psychotic Lisa, if she's still breathing.
3. Cesar Faison -- Who? That's what many of you new viewers have been asking. Get to Googling, if you want all the gruesome details of this villain. But here are the highlights: He was obsessed with Anna for decades. He was responsible for ending her marriage to Robert. He kidnapped Anna and blew up a boat that supposedly killed Robert, Anna, and himself. None of them turned out to be dead, of course. Later, on behalf of Helena, Cesar kidnapped Lucky and faked his death in a fire. Sound familiar? Yep. Rumors are flying that Cesar is most likely behind Robin's kidnapping and "death." I'm on board with this theory. It seemed that Robin knew her captor when she caught a glimpse this week, and this eerie villain has been torturing the Scorpios for decades.
4. Dr. David Hayward -- What? You heard me. I know it's out there, but it's a theory, nonetheless. Anyone who watched the final year of All My Children knows that Dr. David was playing God in Pine Valley and resurrected several "dead" characters with his super drug cocktails. He was once married to Anna, and it's possible he could have saved Robin, too. Sure, it's a leap, but it would certainly be another jaw-dropping twist.
5. Anna Devane -- I know. I know. It's not likely, but there is a slim chance that after Jason turned Robin down to help make her disappear, that Robin turned to her super-spy mother. Anna has government spy training. She could certainly pull off this kind of scam, with Robin's help. That's assuming that Robin really is sick again, and that she wanted to disappear. What doesn't mesh with this theory is that Robin is being held prisoner in a hospital room somewhere. If Anna and Robin conspired on this plot, Robin wouldn't be restrained.
What are your theories, Scoopers? Who do you think is behind Port Charles's latest tragedy? Place your bets. Disclaimer: If you guess correctly, you win nothing, except my respect.
OLTL backlash
For the record, let me state this. I am not the Devil. I do not hate soaps. I do not hate One Life to Live or its characters or its actors. Again to reiterate, I am not the Devil.
As a TV critic for daytime and primetime for more than ten years, it's not often that negative, hateful e-mails bother me. It's part of the game. We all have differing opinions, and sometimes, those who disagree with you don't do it in a respectful manner. I get that.
But please don't call me someone who doesn't support soaps. Nothing could be farther from the truth. I love soaps. I grew up watching them and have enjoyed them for more than 35 years. I've watched The Doctors, Edge of Night, Capital, Santa Barbara, Generations, The Young and the Restless, Another World, As the World Turns, Guiding Light, Days of our Lives, Another World, All My Children, General Hospital, Dallas, Dawson's Creek, Melrose Place, and so many others that I don't have room to name them all. Soaps are my favorite genre of television, daytime and primetime.
I went on record a few weeks ago, saying that I wasn't thrilled that characters from OLTL were coming to General Hospital. It was an opinion that had nothing to do with One Life to Live. It was based on the simple fact that there are so many characters currently on General Hospital with little to do, that have been back burnered for decades to play second fiddle to the mob storylines. I questioned that if more characters were needed, why not bring back some of those familiar to us: Serena Baldwin, Ned Ashton, Scotty Baldwin, etc. It was an initial honest opinion, that I stand by, that I made about the decision to put the OLTL actors on contract. It was given before having watched several weeks of shows with the Llanview alumni.
The reason for the OLTL transfers is clear. The new GH regime is coming from OLTL, and is hoping to pull more ratings by bringing some of the OLTL fans with them. Plus, those characters are familiar to them. It makes sense. And I hope this strategy works! And yes, I'm enjoying some of the new faces. Todd Manning had me from, "Hello." I can't take my eyes off him, and he seems like a formidable foe for bully Sonny. Please spring him from jail soon. John McBain is also growing on me. I'm sure I'm going to get more hate mail for this, too, but in just a few scenes, John has made Sam come more alive than I've seen her in years.
As for Starr, sorry, Scoopers, but I'm not yet on board with this character or a potential pairing with Michael. As I said in the past, Michael has already had so much drama to play in his short life that I was hoping to see a lighter side of Michael this summer, one that went to college parties, interned at ELQ, and for once, smiled.
I'm not a hater. I'm passionate. And I'll give any character or storyline a chance. I've watched phenomenal daytime dramas in the past, and that's why I'm so vocal when I see potential, but no follow-through. (Jason waking up from his nonstop brain surgeries and not remembering his Quartermaine past was an epic fail. It would have been great drama to see him grappling with the fact that he was a hit man for the mob.)
Yes, I often point out plots, couples, or storylines that I don't think are working -- not because I'm mean, but because I want those in charge to take notice and fix the problems, before our genre disappears altogether. I grew up in the age of daytime supercouples, when soaps garnered ratings similar to the most popular primetime shows of today. That era is gone. But, with good writing, actors, and excellent PR, I absolutely believe a daytime drama can be a hit again.
I'm not the kind of person to not give a new character a chance, and I certainly will with the new OLTL cast members. I'm also not the kind of person who doesn't change her mind. I sometimes end up loving a character I previously hated, and vice versa. My long time readers know this. So, to reiterate, I don't hate One Life to Live. I support soaps. I am not the Devil.
Repeat after me: "Jason Thompson is a phenomenal actor who deserves an Emmy and whatever accolades he can get." This guy has been killing it every single day. When Robin's "ashes" arrived in a box this week and little Emma entered the scene, my heart was breaking. That scene was brutal, but beautifully written. I won't quibble over the fact that Robin arrived so coldly in a box through the mail. Really? Is that how it works? I hope I never have to find out.
Thank you, writers, for acknowledging Brenda Barrett, Robin's best friend, during the mourning process. We saw Patrick talking to Brenda, via phone, this week and thanking her for the letter she sent. It was a nice detail, considering so many of Robin and Mac's co-workers and friends were absent at Robin's memorial.
On a completely shallow note, Mac Scorpio was looking fine this week. Yes, he always looks fine, but he stepped it up a notch with that slick haircut and suit combo. Considering Robin is dead and Maxie is in jail for murder, I'd say Mac is holding up pretty well.
Speaking of looking fine. Michael Quartermaine Corinthos is one good-looking young man. Wow.
I know Kate is in the middle of a mental health crisis, but I almost want to see her macking on Johnny, just as Sonny walks in, just for Johnny to finally get one up on Sonny. I know, it's childish of me, but I hate the way Sonny mentally tortures Johnny. No, Johnny's not a saint either. But, admit it, you wouldn't mind Johnny besting Sonny in something, right?
So, super sleuth Sam McCall is going to track down Heather Webber and get to the bottom of this Franco baby tape mystery. I'm all for this, if it gives Steve another storyline possibility. This Memphis murder story is a bust for me, and no matter how much they force me to watch him with Olivia, I still don't love this pairing.
Maxie's arrest is high drama for certain, so I have to applaud the writers for injecting some wonderful humor into this tense week, courtesy of Matt, Spinelli, and Mac. Check out my Best Lines of the Week section to get a good chuckle.
(After spotting ex-husband Luke with Anna, Tracy tells him he should be ashamed for taking advantage of a grief-stricken Anna.)
Luke: "Green has always been such a flattering color on you, mama."
(At the cop shop, in front of Mac, Spinelli and Matt argue about who should talk to Maxie in the slammer.)
Matt: "I am her boyfriend. I know things about her, intimate things."
Mac: "Watch your mouth.
Alexis: "Little discretion, please."
Spinelli: "Are you suggesting that Maxinista and I have never been intimate?"
Mac: "Oh, God."
(After Spinelli and Matt keep fighting at the station, in front of Alexis and Mac.)
Mac (to attorney Alexis): "Can you handle three murder defenses simultaneously, because I'm about to kill these two."
(Later, Matt and Spinelli come to blows in the middle of the police station.)
Alexis: "Would you like me to call someone? "
Mac: "Yeah, who, the police?"
(John and Sam keep running into one another.)
Sam: "Are you following me?"
John: "If I were, I'm pretty crappy at it."
